


Angel Of Small Death & Codeine Scene

by Killjoy013



Category: Captain Marvel (2019)
Genre: F/F, I Ship It, Partners to Lovers, Repressed Memories, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2019-11-19 11:20:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18135065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Killjoy013/pseuds/Killjoy013
Summary: A look into Carol's and Maria's relationship before Carol leaves her again.Fluff.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I can't stop thinking about them. I might add a second chapter if enough feedback is given.

**Angel Of Small Death & The Codeine Scene**

_With her straw-blonde hair, her arms hard and lean_   
_She's the angel of small death and the codeine scene_

* * *

 

Maria started watching the stars again after Carol left.

It had been a pastime of theirs when they got home. They would pile in and drive out to the middle of nowhere. Carol would make annoying but cute airplane noises to keep Maria awake before telling her what constellation was in the sky that night. They did it every Saturday night. At first in the back of Maria's old pickup truck, holding hands and Carol would kiss her cheek or temple when Maria would fall asleep.

Maria would wake up in the truck with her seatbelt on or in bed where Carol would pull off her boot and takes off her bra. Maria would be half-awake as Carol would guide into her sleep clothes. Maria would mumble some nonsense that she could never remember. All she could recall was Carol's quiet chuckle in response and a "C'mere, baby, and put some pants on."

They would wake up early, the military will do that to you, to the sun. Carol would try to pull Maria back in bed and almost always fail. Carol would whine or pout until Maria came back with coffee and a kiss.

They would cook breakfast together with the radio up. Their routine didn't stop when baby Monica came into the world. She would be cooing and gurgling in the crib nearby and then the high chair, kicking her legs and giggling.

Carol and Maria would fight over what station they play. Carol was determined to get Monica into rock and punk as Maria fought back with R&B and Hip-Hop. The constant flipping back into between two stations made for a mix of songs flowing through the house.

As much as Maria would argue, her voice was the loudest when Queen came on. Carol wasn't any better once TLC and Lauryn Hill came into play.

Then Carol had to be a hero and die.

On a mission that was so top secret she couldn't grieve properly. After the crash, there weren't even any remains but a broken dog tag and an empty place in Maria's life and an unmarked grave.

Empty.

Barren.

In her bed. Her truck. Her home.   
  
Monica couldn't let Carol go and Maria let her. Let her keep Carol's things in the attic and wear the jacket when she couldn't sleep until she got a stain on it.

Six years. 72 months. 2190 days give or take a few. Maria kept moving but she didn't move on. Nobody was her Carol Susan Jane Danvers. They didn't put a name to what they had but it was love. It was risky to put a name to it. People could talk and talk would bring them both down and Maria knew Carol would rather be vague than cause Maria to lose her job or her family.

But that was gone.

Carol was gone.

And Maria started to watch the stars again. Something pulled her to like a magnet or gravity. It weighed her down until she looked up. That was the last place Carol was. It was also where she was the happiest too. Higher, faster, further. Higher, more than 50,000 feet. Faster, almost at the speed of light was the plan. Further, Carol sped off in that plane after giving Maria a fast but heartfelt kiss. Higher, she went until she crashed.

Until she died.

Gone.

Until she wasn't. Until a stiff carbon copy of Carol, her Carol. But it wasn't her Carol, no, that would be too easy. It was Vers. A shell of her Carol Danvers with only the snark and the strength left but her mind was astray, Maria could see it in her eyes and the way she faltered at things.

Maria wanted to be mad but as soon as Carol-Vers looked up at her and there was a wall under her eyes, pushing emotions back to try a be a perfect soldier. She softened like butter in the summer heat and helped her see who she was and is.

A space dogfight and not-cat space cat later, Carol, yes her Carol pulled her aside. One hand was holding Maria's and the other was cupping her cheek.

"I'm sorry."

"For getting kidnapped and brainwashed?"

"No, what I have to do now. I have to help them. They can't stay here. The people here aren't ready for them."

"You're leaving...when?"

"As soon as they load up the carrier. Hours."

Maria sighs but Carol bumps her nose and foreheads, "Hey, I know. I'll come back as soon as I can."

"I know you will. I just got you back and now you're leaving me."

"Baby."

The name and soft tone warms Maria to the toes. She looks down to their interlocked hands until Carol tilts her chin up.

"Of all the things I forgot, you and Monica were what I clung to. You, Maria, was the key to finding myself again. My...our love. I love you." She said softly. Maria smiled and giggled as Carol cupped her face, her thumbs tracing Maria's lips like she always did but only in the dead of the night in secrecy not the bright light of day.

Then Carol leaned in. Maria followed her lead. A light brush of lips until Maria pulls her closer by her hips, her hand going under the band shirt and nearly cursing when she felt that damn suit under instead of soft pale skin.

Carol growls and pushes Maria against the wall, rattling the picture frames next to them. Maria has a thigh between Carol's legs. One of Carol's hand pulls her leg up by the back of her knee as she deepens the kiss. Tongue and teeth come in play when the realization of their time running out until god knows when and desperation sets in. It pulls together like a magnet.

Maria pulls apart when her lungs protest but Carol drags her lips to her neck, hoisting her up like she weighs nothing. Maria instinctively wraps her legs around her waist.

"Car, hmm to the left and down, we should...oh god-get back before-"

"Before the space aliens who shapeshift judge us? Or the super secret spy who got his eye scratched out by a not-cat?"

"They really dont...you know?"

"No, it's not like here. It's better up there. I promise. Well, less better without you. I'd love to race you across the galaxy and win over and over again. Leaving you in the cosmic dust."

"Do you ever shut up?" Maria rolls her eyes until she stifled a whimper as Carol's mouth reunited with her pulse point. Their bodies flushed together still and both with shaky breaths as Carol's teeth came into play.

"Hmm, You should know I don't until my mouth is occupied."

"Carol."

Danvers pulls away with a cheeky grin, "Sorry not sorry."

"What I am going to do with you?"

"No clue, baby."

"I missed you."

Carol smiles and pecks her on the lips once more before pulling away. Maria mutters about how much a tease her Carol is.

"Wait for me?" Carol whispers

"Always."

The pair is found, later in the night outside, in the old rusty pickup truck by Monica who climbs up the back to join them. She smushes between them with her face buried in Carol's neck.

"I'll miss you, Aunt Carol."

"I'll miss you too, Lieutenant Trouble. I'll be back before you know it."

"I know you will. You wouldn't leave Mom again unless you had to."

"I have to."

"I know."

They stay there, staring up at the stars and Maria still finds it difficult to believe that all these years, she thought Carol dead, laid to rest under the ground when she was that lost in the stars and drained of her memories. Her everything.

Maria couldn't imagine it. All that she loved just...gone. Carol hums and runs her thumb over Maria's hand softly with the same hands that destroyed warheads like paper.

"Where you at?" Carol whispered, shifting to get a better look at Maria. Monica sighed in her slumber and buried her face further in Carol's neck as Carol rubbed her back.

"Thinking."

"About?"

"You."

Carol smiled and leaned forward to place a sweet kiss on Maria's lips before she said softly, "We're okay. We'll stay okay. I don't know when I'll be back so I figured something out."

She fished around her pocket until she pulled out a pager.

"I updated Nicky's and made a second one in case he managed to kill it but I decided he'll survive and if he breaks his then that's his fault. So...this one is yours. It's special."

"Emergency only?"

"Hell no. I'll be able to send you a message if I'm busy so you can wait to call me."

"Call you, it can do that?"

Carol smirked, "Now it can. It's special. I'll be back. I prom-"

"Don't. I know you will."

"Hmm, you do?"

"You talk a lotta talk but you come through...mostly."

"Mostly?"

"You still have yet to beat me at pool."

"Yes, I did."

No, you cheated."

"You never said I couldn't distract the competition."

"That was not a distraction. It was interference."

"If I remember correctly, you weren't complaining. In fact, you were-"

"Doesn't matter. Wasn't fair and square."

Carol huffed and rolled her eyes as Maria smiled.

"I still won." Carol said pouting.

"Uh-huh."

Monica shifted in her sleep and Carol gently moved her hair from her face. The kid clung to her, wrapping her skinny arms around Carol's middle. Carol's face softens and her eyes flicker to mother and daughter, trying to burn the image, the feeling, the way it made her heart flutter, in the back of her eyelids. Maria's dark eyes flittered shut after hour three and she was out like a light.

It wasn't fair to leave them but it had to be done.

There was a clearing of a throat and a tap on the side of the truck. Carol sighed and Talos looked apologetic to break the moment's peace. She nodded but didn't make an attempt to move. She couldn't, not with Monica entangled around her and Maria's legs tangled with hers.

Talos chuckled, "Need any help with your wife?"

"Not married. It's outlawed. Illegal."

"To love?"

"Of the same sex, yes."

"What is the difference? It's all love."

"You tell Congress that. You could take the face of the president and-nevermind."

Talos tilted his head but Carol waved him off with a pang in her heart.

"You could marry off of Terra."

"What?"

"To East of Terra and first galaxy over, on Zrohei?"

"Don't you need a reservation?"

"No, your other doesn't even need to be on the planet to marry as long as it's true and genuine. They take walk-ins."

Carol hums, "Holographic wedding?"

"Or you could bring her and her little one."

"To the stars? Monica would love that. Thoughts for another day."

"Perhaps you are right. Be ready soon. We'll be waiting."

Carol nodded and watched Talos disappear in the house and then to the ship. She shifted softly at first, twisting her body so that she was facing Maria. She traced her cheekbones softly as if not to stir her lover. Maria's lips twitched into a smile and Carol had to blink back rogue tears. Why was this so hard to do?

The rage in her from everything just...went away with a touch. She didn't want to come back. Carol had to. And she would do anything to keep her and Monica safe. Carol softly shook Maria awake and she fussed in her sleep.

"Babe...I got to go."

Maria moved closer as Monica grumbled and buried her face in the jacket. Carol sat up and set Monica in her lap.

"Trouble."

"Hmm?"

"Help me wake your mama up."

"'kay."

Monica rubbed her eyes and started to kick the inside of the truck bed hard, rattling the whole truck. Maria jolted up and then cursed when she remembered where she was.

"That's one way to do it," Carol mumbled before getting up to stretch. Maria wiped her eyes as she yawned.

"You have to go now?"

Carol nodded and hopped out of the truck with a giggling Monica over her shoulder. If she stayed there any longer she might not leave. The kid shifted so Carol had her on her hip so she could hold Maria's hand as they walked back to the carrier, camouflaged with the trees.

It flickered back into existence as they came up the path. Carol let Monica down on the ground and she ran into the house. The women looked at each in amusement as their kid came flying out the door with something in her hands.

"Auntie Carol, wait! Take this, don't open it until you get on the ship, okay?"

Carol nodded and carefully took the box wrapped in construction paper, red at the top and blue at the bottom with a strip of yellow. She shook it and it sounded like metal.

"Thanks, kiddo."

Monica nodded and walked off to say goodbye to Talos' kid who had Goose on her shoulder. Carol turned to Maria with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

"So..."

Maria rolled her eyes and tugged her forward by her belt loops. Carol's smirk grew as she said, "You gonna miss me?"

"Hmm, maybe."

"Maybe?"

Maria pretended to think about it but as soon as Carol opened her big mouth, she connected their lips. Carol melted in the kiss as Maria had her hands in her hair. She didn't even remember closing her eyes as she tilted her head to the right to deepen it. Maria bit her lip making the other woman gasp quietly.

Maria had the nerve to chuckle as she slowly pulled away. Carol, stunned speechless, merely blinked at her partner.

"Come back to us."

"Y-yes, ma'am. I-I'll come back."

"You better."

Maria kissed her one last time and then fixed Carol's hair.

"I will."

Maria squeezed her hand before letting go, her eyes not leaving Carol as she shot off into the sky after the carrier.

"You better." She repeated.

* * *

 

_With her sweetened breath, and her tongue so mean_   
_She's the angel of small death and the codeine scene_


	2. In The Woods Somewhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plot???? Really? Yes, really. I figured my angst-loving brain would do this.

_I raised myself._  
_My legs were weak._  
_I prayed my mind be good to me._

* * *

 

The ground was smoldering around Carol as she sunk to the floor groaning. Talos chuckled into her comm as she said, "Can I take a nap? A nap would be good about now."

"After wiping out a planet of Chitauri? You deserve it. Maybe get back in the ship first."

"I'm tired!"

"You should've eaten first. Breakfast is the most-"

"You know, I liked you when I thought you were scary."

"I'm touched. You thought I was scary?"

"When I thought about your skincare routine, yeah."

"How does your other put up with you....get in the ship and wash up."

"Yes, Dad."

"Don't take that tone with me, young lady."

Carol laughed and got to her feet. She stared up the purple sky. Earth was to the west and a galaxy and a half back. The carrier door opened with a hiss and Carol stepped into it as she wiped off the dust from her suit. She weaved between the kids running around the ship to Talos. They waved and one bumped knuckles with Carol.

Talos looked back to say, "Children. Settle down."

The kids, the cute gremlins, huddled together like penguins as they muttered, "Sorry."

Carol smiled at them and mouthed, "So mean" making the kids giggle before they scampered off. She sat in the co-pilot chair, looking at their coordinates and subconsciously calculating the distance between here and home. More than a million miles away.

"What we got?"

"One planet up ahead."

Carol looked at the hologram and its stats, "Aeden...huh, like Eden. It's a beach planet. You pack your speedo?"

Talos sighed, "For the last time, stop making references to things without telling me what they mean. You still haven't told what a blockbuster is. Or a Chewbacca."

"I like seeing you confused."

"Why would-what's a blockbuster?"

"I dunno. What _is_ a blockbuster?"

"Danvers! Carol...what is it? _What is it_?!"

Carol chuckled and walked to her quarters with him tailing her. He huffed like a child and turned on his heel.

Talos had given her own dorm, even though she protested. The box Monica had gifted her was on her table next to a map of the galaxies they had been through. The Milky Way map was on the wall next to her bed and a circle on Earth.

Carol walked up to the table and grabbed her knife to scratch another day on a piece of scrap metal. Another day away from her family. She had shied away from the word on earth but seeing Talos and his family changed that. Skrulls didn't have a word for girlfriend. It was mate, other, wife/husband. Talos, the green bastard, didn't waste any opportunity to call Maria Carol's wife or Monica Carol's kid. It didn't bother her, quite the opposite really, but it widens the hole in her heart.

It was different there. It wasn't the same. Carol was sure you could marry your damn ship out here but on Earth no fucking way. Carol couldn't see her marrying Maria officially on her home planet but she wanted it. More than ever, now that Carol had a taste of what it felt like to be empty. To be without Maria and Monica wasn't a life that Carol wanted to live.

It made her antsy but she didn't want to push. Every time she did something wrong, it was because she pushed too hard. She didn't want to call first and talk because maybe Maria needed space to process and all that and she didn't want to worm her way back into Monica's life without some sort of permission.

She didn't know where she stood exactly and she was too damn stubborn to ask. But she wanted to. Stars above, she wanted too.

Carol sighed and looked at the box. It was still unwrapped. She ran her hand over the paper before carefully opening it up. It was a letter and something wrapped in tissue paper. Carol picked up the letter and unfolded it. Talos leaned in the doorframe.

"You're _finally_ opening it? Took you long enough."

"We've been gone for only a month."

"A month plus those six years. Well? Read it."

Carol sighed and started to read, hearing the girl's voice in the quickly scrawled handwriting.

"Hi, Auntie Carol. I missed you so much when you were gone. Mom was so sad about it. She couldn't look at the pictures of you at first. She would think about you all the time even though she didn't say it. I saw her. It hurt to think about you gone...forever. So I didn't. I couldn't. I kept waiting for you to come over. You didn't. And I realized how much you were a part of the house and our life. I thought about it hard while you were gone and...what I'm trying to say is that-that I love you. Your Lieutenant, Monica. P.S, I gave you these so you would find us again if you got lost."

Carol looked up and sniffed, wiping away stubborn tears. She chuckled weakly as Talos patted her shoulder awkwardly.

"I love you too, Trouble." Carol mumbled.

She moved the tissue paper away to reveal a pair of dog tags and a journal. One was her's, stamped on a new tag and the other was Maria's. Maria's had 'Find me if lost' attached to it. Carol ran her fingers over the metal, feeling the dip and ridges in it.

Carol opened the journal and scanned the pages. Half of it was blank. The written page had phone numbers and locations, even with coordinates, with little comments on them.

Maria's house was labeled home.

_Home._

Talos looked around nervously and came over to pat her shoulder. His eyes widen as Carol embraced him fully. He rubbed her back, "We're almost there, I can feel it. You can almost go home."

Carol blocked out Yon-Rogg's voice in her head that snapped at her to control her emotions. She buried her face in his neck, his skin was surprisingly human and soft and she sighed. Carol laughed at the fleeting thought of hugging the enemy but it came out weak and watery.

"Sorry," Carol mumbled pulling away to wipe her eyes.

"It's alright. My wife is the same. Every day I was away from her...just created this valley in my heart. Like it was hard to breathe without her. I know that's how you feel. Especially with all these memories coming back. If you want, we can get the tags dipped in Vibranium. So you can't forget."

Carol nodded, it was easier to be a shell and not know she was missing than to know that her everything was a galaxy and a half away. Talos took them from her, "I'll get this to them in the lab. Rest. Eat when you wake up. I'll give them back tomorrow morning."

"Yes, dad."

Talos rolled his eyes, "Good night."

"Night."

He closed the door behind them. Carol peeled off her suit and hung it up as she stepped in the shower. Over the course of the month and during pitstops, they worked on the ship. Adding parts and rearranging things as more Skrulls were found. Carol voiced her concern over the ship having no weapons if something were to happen. Talos always gestured to her as their weapon.

So she and the others made blueprints. But sanctuary was first.

Maria hadn't called yet. Neither did Fury. But tonight, The pager rung. Carol just about leaped across the room to the comm. She pressed the middle button and a hologram of Monica, in her PJs with a blanket in her other hand. She was shaking and sniffling. Carol leaned forward, searching for any signs of injury or a struggle.

"Hi, baby girl, what's wrong?"

"I-I had a nightmare."

"Oh. You tell your mama?"

"I don't want to bother her and I wanted to talk to you."

"Okay, Trouble, what happened?"

Monica went quiet. Looked down and bit her lip, "You didn't come back. You were...something happened."

Carol sighed, "I will. I promised you and your mama that I'll come back. No matter what, I'll be back. I opened your box. Thank you."

"You liked them?"

"Uh-huh. I love it. I'll wear them forever."

"Good. When you come back you have a lot of catching up to do."

"I do?"

"Yeah, you missed a lot of movies and songs. You missed Jurrasic Park and-and Home Alone. Lion King just came out!"

"What's that?"

"Oh my god. I have to make a list. And Mixtapes. _Lots_ of mixtapes."

"I look forward to it, baby girl."

"Are you, do you think you're coming back soon?"

Carol hummed and then nodded, "I think so. We got a planet coming up and I think this one is it. I'll come home soon."

Monica opened her mouth but the background lit up, revealing Maria in her dark green tank top and rubbing her eyes. Her arms were lean as she crossed them and Carol's eyes traveled up to her collarbone and neck. Carol's breath caught in her throat as her partner spoke.

"What are you doing up, Monica?"

"Couldn't sleep. I-"

"I called her," Carol spoke up.

Maria looked between them and then smiled at Carol. That smile was like the sun after weeks of rain. It warmed her to the core and her smile was a bit goofy as she sighed fondly.

"Hey, you. I'll leave you two to talk but don't hang up, okay?"

Monica nodded and waited for Maria to leave before she said, "Mom misses you but it's different than last time."

"Different?"

"She's happier, I think because she knows you're coming back and you're harder to hurt."

"I can still hurt. I miss you two and that hurts."

"We miss you too. Are you taking Goose back with you?"

"I am."

Monica smiles, "Good, we'll be a little family."

"We already are," Carol said without thinking. Monica's grin in response made her beam back.

"What's like in space?"

Carol hummed, "Well, the stars are brighter and have more color here. It's like a comic book. Green, blue, yellow, purple, red people. The ships are brightly colored. I'm thinking about getting one for myself."

"Can you!?"

"Why not? It's like having a car or an RV back home. How about a red one?"

"Or blue. Ma likes blue."

"Red with blue stripes?"

Monica lit up.

Carol hummed, "I got some credits for a decent size ship."

Monica smiled, "You should talk to Ma."

"I should but I'm talking to you."

"We already talked. You scared?"

"I'm _not_ scared."

"Sounds like it."

"Well, I'm not so-"

"You'll talk to her, great!"

"Wait-"

Monica was already calling for her mother with a wide grin on her face the size of Xander. Maria took the pager from her and started to walk upstairs for privacy. Maria's smile was soft around the edges and it left Carol weak in the knees even though she was sitting.

"Here you go! Auntie Carol, goodnight."

"Good night, baby girl. I love you."

Monica blew a kiss and kissed Maria on the cheek before leaving the room. Carol smiled brightly at Maria as her heart fluttered.

"Hey."

"Hey yourself. They don't have reception up there?"

Carol huffed and then laughed softly, "No, I've just been...scared."

"Carol Susan Jane Danvers? _Scared_? Alert the press!"

"More likely than you think. I'm scared of the idea of me having you and then-"

"-Then something happens, right?"

"Yeah."

"Like maybe I crash my ship and declared dead but I am _in fact_ missing-

"That's a one-time thing. What about Monica, baby? What will she do if it's you this time? That'd break her heart."

Maria rolls her eyes but sighs patiently, "Both of our hearts were broken when we thought you died. I wanted to keep moving forward but Monica clung to her-to you so hard. We went to your funeral and our baby girl glared at the coffin and your grave like it was the worst prank ever pulled and she wasn't fooled. She never gave you up. I almost did but not her. Not Monica."

"She's my favorite for a reason. On missions, I always was good with calming kids down and getting them to talk."

Carol's eyes went dark as she realized the weight of her words. She had gotten kids to sell out innocent civilians.

"Hey...hey, Car, you didn't know. You couldn't have. You're righting your wrongs."

Carol nodded and her jaw unclenched.

"Speaking of, I think we found a place. It's a beach planet. Pretty big and just close enough to a marketplace but far off in the-"

Maria nodded along but her eyes were tracing Carol's neck and to her sharp jawline, she had been dreaming about kissing and pushing Carol's pretty little head between her thighs like they did that night in the summer of-

"Baby? Maria? Maria. Are you even listenin'?"

"What? Yeah, uh, no I got sidetracked."

"You okay? Can I make it better?"

Maria rolled her eyes, Carol could make it better by flying her cute little ass over her and staying in Maria's bed, "Y-yeah, I'm okay. You're making it better already by talking to me."

"Aww, how sweet."

" _Annnnd_ , the moment's gone. You ruined it."

Carol and Maria both smiled and chuckled their eyes scanning over the other's face thinking the same thing.

_I don't want to lose you ever again._

"When...how are things going?" Maria mumbled as Carol wiggled off her shoes and pants. Carol made an encouraging noise and held up one finger before undoing her bra. Maria blinked and tried not to let her eyes wander over Carol's chest as she nonchalantly changed into a white tank top.

"It's going okay. We didn't really come across some challenges and the Kree is keeping their distance after what happened back home. Talos is acting like I'm his rebellious teenager or something like I can't take care of myself-"

Carol turned her back towards Maria and lowered her boxers unceremoniously. Maria forced her eyes up as Carol bent down to pick them up. Maria silently cursed out Carol for being so fucking far away. She glanced down and desire sent a chill over her body before she stomped it down. Carol kept on talking, _that_ never seems to change, not noticing or politely ignoring Maria's eyes greedily taking in the sight.

Carol stretched, her back muscles flexing and shifting, and all Maria could think about was the marble statues the Romans and the Greeks made. Her muscles looked hard to the touch but Maria knew how soft Carol's skin was. The way tiny freckles splattered on her skin every so faintly. The way the dimples in her back seemed more prominent when she arched it.

The way...Maria drooled over her without them having the 'what are we' convo she had been meaning to have. Maria sighed and Carol stopped her sentence.

"Okay, what is it? You can tell me, baby, what's wrong?"

"I miss you being right here and I want to know what...what are we? How much do you actually remember?" She said, cringing as soon as it left her lips.

"I remember almost everything. My childhood is fuzzy like I tried to block it out. But I remember you. Always have. Always will. I miss you too. I've always missed you even before I knew it was you. Why do you think I gave you the pager? Nick's doesn't do video-chat or realistic holograms. As for the second thing, that's why I've been scared. If you found someone else or aren't looking for...for love, then I'm okay with that-"

"Carol, _no_ -"

"And I think that's justified after all I put you through in these six years and we can just keep our distance....emotionally. I can roll with the punches-"

Maria rolled her eyes, of course, Carol thought that Maria wanted space.

"Carol Danvers, I love you."

"-and if I have to-you...you what?"

"Carol Danvers, I still and always will love you."

Carol froze and blinked back tears as she smiled, "I love you, baby."

She looked down, hoping the lowlight would hide the tears but she sniffled too loudly and Maria soften and reached out the hologram of Carol only her hand to phase through. Longing clawed at her heart as she whispered comforting words to her Carol.

"I wanna come back, god, baby, wanna come back so _bad_. I wanna wake up in your arms. Wake up to Monica shaking us awake. Want to see you drink coffee black and bitch about it. Want you in every way you will let me. I miss you so much." Carol whispered, sniffling as she smiled softly.

Maria's eyes soften and she beamed. Her hand reached out to touch Carol, to wipe away tears and to comfort her. It stopped and wavered once Maria realized again she couldn't.

"I know you do. Come back to me, Carol."

"Always."

They shared a smile.

The ship rumbled and lights flickered. Carol's stomach flipped as they jumped. Her eyes narrowed and she looked up.

"I got to-"

"Go. Do your thing."

"Maria, I-"

"I know you do."

"Well, let me say it then. I love you, baby."

Maria smiled, "Love you too, Cari."

Carol hung up and changed quickly as she ran through the hall to the cockpit only to find Talos muttered under his breath about damning patience to high hell.

"Talos! What's happening?"

"I'm making the jump to that planet."

"I haven't scoped it out yet. There could be hostiles-"

"Me and you are only going to the ground."

"Alright. Why the change of heart?"

Talos sighed, "I've been doing this for years. Something's got to give. I can't keep my child and wife in hiding anymore. We don't have enough room. And-"

"-And this might be the one and you can't wait? I might be rubbing off on you."

"Carol."

"What? Not judging. How about we take a pod instead? Leave the kiddies and the wife here with a note."

After a tense moment, Talos put the ship on standby. Carol trailed behind him as he rapidly tapped controls on the pod's interface.

"You lead?" Talos mumbled closing the pod as Carol put on her leather jacket.

"My pleasure."

Carol smiled lightly and opened the latch door. She did a mock salute before falling into the vacuum of space.

Together, they descended on the planet. Carol on two feet and Talos riding the momentum of the pod's thrusters to shore.

It was beautiful. A lush tree line just past the light blue sand. The smell of sweet beach air hit Carol in her memories. Carol embraced it and closed her eyes.

They were taking a weekend to drive down to the nearest empty beach. Maria had her then long curly hair in a bun and Carol had been pleading with her to let it down for once.

_"Maria, baby, please?" Carol had said hugging her from behind and kissing her cheek. Carol had her swimsuit under overalls and her hair in one braid with her toes in the sand, plain almost white sand. Maria rolled her eyes and turned in her arms._

_Maria looked like a dream in the glow of sunlight against her skin, the most beautiful shade of brown Carol ever saw, and her smile wide and eyes fond._  
  
_Carol beamed back, "Please, just for today? Let your hair breathe. It's your day off!"_

_"If I let my hair down then sand will get into it. Do you know how long it takes to wash my hair?"_

_"I'll help you wash it. Please, baby?"_

_"You don't know what you're getting into, Barbie. But okay, Danvers, you asked for it."_

_Maria nonchalantly took her hair out of the bun and looked up at her partner with a raised eyebrow. Carol was guilty of squealing and she took a step back to get a good look. Maria's hair was in long dark curls past her shoulders packed in tight coils. It was longer than anticipated and Carol spotted a few grays in her hair._

_"Can I touch your hair?" Carol asked her as she fiddled with her hands. She vividly remembers Maria grabbing the wrists of Moore who reached without asking. Moore had yelped not used to be told no and while Carol smirked behind her magazine._

_"You're gonna be washing it, Go ahead." She said softly and Carol messed with the ends. Maria sat between her legs as they watched the sun fad on the horizon._

_"You're gorgeous, baby." Carol whispered._

Carol blinks and she's back in the present. No love of her life to be seen. Just Talos. She sighs and rolls her restless shoulders. Her eyes scan the tree line. They narrow and Carol's feet move on their own accord.

"You see that?"

Talos frowns and his eyes follow her line of sight. Then they widen.

In the smack middle of the tree line is a pillar of blue sandstone. Carved in it, rather crudely, is the face of a man. His features are weathered and battle-hardened as his cheek flow into a thick beard. An eyepatch is in place of his left eye and the diagonal scar around it paint a concise story. A warrior. It's a totem if Carol ever saw one. Of what or who, now that, she couldn't be sure.

Carol, against Talos' better judgment, reaches out to touch it. Under the face is a passage of ruins that Carol has seen before on Earth. She traces the long scar and then let her fingers fall in the groves of his beard.

"What is this?"

"Who. _That_ is the king of Asgard."

Flashes of memories flare up and Carol's mouth speaks up, "Odin. Like the Norse god?"

Talos nods.

Carol frowns and treks past into the lush jungle. A mile into the walk she stops in her tracks. The unmistakable smell of death hits her like a punch.

"Talos." She calls her eyes not moving from the sight in front of her.

A huge crater in the middle of the forest, burnt and blackened. Surrounding it, were old broken homes most of them with doors broken down and the inside in disarray. Carol grabbed Talos' arms as she moved toward the edge. He peered over the age and turned a deep dark green. He turned to the side and promptly ejected everything he had for dinner.

Carol could only stare at the mass grave of twisted flesh and bone.

"This ain't exactly paradise anymore."

* * *

 

_An awful noise_  
_Filled the air._  
_I heard a scream in the woods somewhere._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this, you should totally comment and kudos so that way I know what you folks like and don't. Constructive criticism and/or commentary is super helpful and welcomed! Thanks for reading.
> 
> Be careful and be good people out there!
> 
> -KJ

**Author's Note:**

> Remember to comment and like if you like or didn't like!   
> Have a good day and be good people   
> KJ out!


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